The emergency room is designed for chaos—not for comfort, and certainly not for clarity. But if you’re a caregiver, the ER isn’t a place you can avoid.
When your senior ends up there, the stakes are high. But here’s the secret most caregivers don’t know: it’s not just about getting medical care. It’s about knowing how to navigate that care. That’s exactly why I created the free Emergency Room Quiz—a practical tool to help you uncover what you don’t know before you’re stuck in a hospital hallway without answers. Download it here and keep reading—you’re about to gain the upper hand.
The ER Works Differently Than You Think
ERs don’t run like your doctor’s office. There’s no set appointment. Instead, patients are triaged based on how life-threatening their condition appears—not who arrived first.
And here’s where many caregivers get blindsided:
- You might wait hours for a non-emergency issue.
- If your senior has dementia or can’t explain symptoms clearly, you need to fill in the blanks—fast.
- You might have only 90 seconds with a doctor unless you know what to say.
What Doctors and Nurses Won’t Say Out Loud
I worked with a caregiver named Michelle whose 84-year-old mom fell at home. No broken bones, but something was off. She brought her to the ER and waited over 6 hours before anyone truly listened. Why? Because no one knew the full story—until Michelle insisted on giving one.
Here’s what you should always do:
Bring a list of medications and current diagnoses.
Prepare a one-minute verbal summary: “My mom has dementia, is on blood thinners, fell at 3 PM, and hit her head.”
Ask what the wait time is for non-emergent patients.
ER staff are not being rude—they’re prioritizing trauma, strokes, and heart attacks. But when you speak their language, they respond differently.
Know the Questions That Save Time (and Lives)
Use these caregiver questions in the ER:
“What are you most concerned about right now?”
“Is this test absolutely necessary, or can it be scheduled outpatient?”
“Can you explain that again in plain language?”
And don’t be afraid to ask for a patient advocate. You are your senior’s voice, especially when they’re confused or overwhelmed.
Need a cheat sheet for all of this? Download the ER Quiz—it’s based on actual scripts and strategies from an ER provider.
What to Watch Out For in the ER
ERs move fast—but that doesn’t mean everything gets done right the first time. Here’s what to double-check:
Did they do a medication reconciliation?
Was your senior checked for signs of dehydration or confusion?
Are you clear on next steps, including discharge instructions?
Many older adults return to the ER within 48 hours because they didn’t understand their instructions. Ask for them in writing. Ask again if something doesn’t make sense.
And always repeat back what you’ve he
Take Notes—Even If You Feel Rushed
I know. You’re tired, your senior is scared, and no one seems to be giving you the full picture. But this is exactly when notes matter most.
Write down:
Time of arrival
Name and role of each provider and nurse
All medications which are ordered and taken
Tests ordered and their results
Any instructions or comments
If something goes wrong—or even if things just feel “off”—you’ll be glad you did.
Also consider snapping photos of whiteboards in the room or instruction sheets—especially if you’re juggling multiple details alone.
Don’t Leave Empty-Handed
Before you walk out that hospital door:
Confirm medications, follow-up appointments, and restrictions
Ask if home health or physical therapy is being ordered
Get copies of imaging or lab work if possible
Ask for the direct number to speak with someone about discharge if issues come up at home
If your loved one’s been diagnosed with something serious or new, ask whether you’ll need any special equipment—like oxygen, mobility devices, or wound care supplies. Most hospitals can arrange delivery before you leave.
What to Do When You’re Ignored or Overlooked
Unfortunately, caregivers often feel invisible in ERs. You're not being dramatic—it's common. If a provider rushes out before you can ask questions, don’t chase them down the hallway. Instead:
Ask the nurse when the provider will return.
Politely request they note in the chart that you have follow-up questions.
Keep calm—but be persistent.
You can also request a case manager or social worker. These professionals are there to help families navigate discharge, insurance, home health, and more.
After the ER Visit: What Comes Next
The ER is just the beginning. Your job as a caregiver doesn’t end when they get discharged—it often gets harder. In the 24–48 hours after, here’s what to follow up on:
Refill all new prescriptions after checking with your primary care physican (Many medications are too expensive or will interact with your current medications. Always check with your doctor)
Schedule all follow-up appointments
Watch for any worsening symptoms
Review any instructions you were too overwhelmed to process in the moment
Create a small "post-ER" checklist just for you. Keep it on your fridge or in your phone.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Powerless in the ER
You can’t always prevent the crisis—but you can absolutely control how you handle it. The ER doesn’t have to be a black box of confusion. When you know what to ask, what to expect, and how to speak the ER’s language, everything changes.
You’re not just getting through it—you’re managing it. Like a pro.
Take five minutes now. Get the Emergency Room Quiz. Print it, fold it, keep it in your glove compartment. It might just save hours—and possibly your loved one’s life.
