Why We Avoid Looking at Our Own Stress
Caregivers often say, “It’s not about me.”
But here’s what the research shows: ignoring your own health doesn’t help your senior—it actually increases the chance that both of you will need outside intervention.
The Family Caregiver Alliance reports that 40% to 70% of caregivers show signs of depression, and nearly one in three caregivers say their own health has declined since taking on their role.
It’s not selfish to assess your own stress. It’s smart.
Take the assessment and find out where the pressure is really building.
The 5 Areas of Caregiver Burden (And What They Mean)
The assessment form walks you through 5 major areas:
Physical Stress – Do you feel exhausted, run-down, or like your body never gets a break?
Emotional Strain – Are you angry, anxious, guilty, or resentful more days than not?
Mental Load – Are you constantly worried or thinking about your senior—even when you’re “off”?
Time Pressure – Are you always behind on your own to-do list?
Financial Impact – Have you lost work hours, paid out of pocket, or delayed your own plans?
This isn’t about judgment. It’s about awareness.
Most caregivers find that just naming these stressors helps them feel more in control.
Real Caregiver Story: “I Didn’t Know I Was in Burnout”
Theresa had been caring for her dad full-time for three years. When she downloaded the form, she thought it would confirm what she already knew—she was doing okay.
But once she scored each section, she realized her emotional burden was sky-high.
“I didn’t think anger and sadness counted,” she said. “I thought it was just physical exhaustion.”
That form gave her the permission she needed to ask for respite care. And to talk honestly with her brother about helping more.
This is the power of a tool that names what you’re carrying.
What to Do With Your Results
After you complete the form, don’t just file it away. Use it as a springboard:
Bring it to your doctor or therapist
Share it with family when asking for help
Use it to apply for respite services or caregiver support programs
The form includes prompts for what to do next based on your scores in each section.
Remember: stress is easier to manage when it’s caught early.
Psychology Says: Awareness Creates Action
According to Dr. Pauline Boss, creator of the theory of ambiguous loss, caregivers often live in a state of unresolved grief and tension. That internal chaos makes it harder to recognize just how strained we are.
The University of Washington’s Department of Psychiatry adds that regular self-assessments can act like “check-engine lights”—subtle indicators that it’s time to pause and make adjustments. Their caregiver stress tools confirm that burden tracking improves self-awareness and intervention outcomes.
You don’t have to wait until you're falling apart to make a change.
Take It Again—And Again
This form isn’t a one-time activity. Keep it handy and re-use it every month or quarter.
Why?
It helps you track trends over time
It gives you words for what’s changing
It builds your case if you need outside help
Some caregivers even use it in family meetings to show, clearly, where their stress is.
Download the Caregiver Burden Assessment Form and print out a few copies. You’ll be glad you did.
More Stats That Prove You’re Not Alone
If you're wondering whether your experience is unique—it’s not. According to a 2020 report from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, 23% of caregivers say caregiving has made their own health worse, while 36% report high emotional stress (source).
What’s even more striking is that over 60% of caregivers are also working part-time or full-time. That means most of us are burning the candle at both ends—often without acknowledgment, rest, or a clear way to ask for support.
The Caregiver Action Network warns that unaddressed caregiver burnout can lead to anxiety, depression, and even chronic illness (source). But awareness is the first—and most powerful—step toward changing that outcome.
You deserve to know how you’re doing. You deserve tools that actually help. And you deserve a path out of burnout.
How to Use High Scores to Take Action
If you scored high in any category—especially emotional or physical strain—don’t ignore it. Here’s what many caregivers do next:
High Physical Stress? Schedule a physical exam and talk to your doctor honestly. You may be suffering from stress-related issues like hypertension, sleep apnea, or chronic fatigue.
High Emotional Strain? Reach out to a therapist who specializes in caregiver or grief counseling. Start journaling or join a local caregiver support group.
High Time Pressure? Look into respite services, adult day programs, or rotating support from friends and family.
Use the form as proof: “Here’s what I’m experiencing. I need help.”
Real Caregiver Story: A Turning Point
Javier, a caregiver for his wife who has early-onset dementia, said completing the form was a wake-up call. He knew he was tired, but hadn’t admitted to himself just how worn down he was.
“My score was in the red zone,” he said. “That night, I told my sister I couldn’t keep pretending I had it handled. She now visits once a week so I can take a breather.”
The form became his reason to ask—and that one conversation changed everything.
Pair the Assessment With Self-Care Routines
Awareness is powerful. But it needs action to follow.
Use your results as a guide for building small but meaningful self-care habits:
Ten minutes of quiet with coffee before caregiving starts
An afternoon walk or stretching session
A weekly check-in with a friend (not about caregiving!)
Saying “no” to one non-essential task
Your assessment can become a roadmap—not just for what’s wrong, but for how you heal.
Final Thought: You Can’t Heal What You Won’t Admit
This form doesn’t solve the stress—it shines a light on it.
And sometimes, that’s the most important first step.
You don’t need to carry the burden quietly anymore. You deserve support, tools, and a clear view of your own limits.
Start with the Caregiver Burden Assessment Form. Download it here and take the first step toward caring for yourself, too.
