Yes, caregiver burnout is not only a common phenomenon but is increasingly recognized as a legitimate medical condition.
In fact, 70% of all caregivers over the age of 70 will die first. Overall, caregiver syndrome leads to 30% of caregivers dying before their loved ones.
One of the first questions I asked my patients when they came in for anxiety or depression. “Who are you taking care of?” That's how common it is!
They would then start to cry and tell me the guilt, frustration, and sadness they felt. They didn’t understand why they felt this way. They didn’t know how common caregiver burnout is. They thought they were alone and everybody else had it together.
Caregiver burnout occurs when the demands of caregiving become overwhelming, leading to physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion.
Here are seven signs or symptoms of caregiver burnout. If you are experiencing one of these, then you may start to experience a 2nd one, and then a 3rd. I consider this a progressive disease that must be stopped before it takes the life of the caregiver. So yes, I view caregiver syndrome as very real and dangerous.
Here are symptoms I want you to look for.
Chronic Fatigue: Caregivers experiencing burnout often feel physically drained and exhausted, even after getting an adequate amount of rest. The constant stress and responsibility of caregiving can lead to persistent fatigue that doesn't improve with sleep or relaxation.
Increased Irritability: Caregiver burnout can manifest as heightened irritability or moodiness. Small frustrations or inconveniences that would normally be manageable may provoke stronger emotional responses in burned-out caregivers.
Withdrawal from Social Activities: Burnout can lead caregivers to withdraw from social interactions and activities they once enjoyed. They may feel isolated or disconnected from others due to the demands of caregiving, leading to social withdrawal and loneliness.
Difficulty Sleeping: Caregivers experiencing burnout often have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Stress, worry, and anxiety related to caregiving responsibilities can disrupt sleep patterns, leading to insomnia or poor sleep quality.
Neglecting Personal Needs: Burned-out caregivers may neglect their own physical and emotional needs while prioritizing the needs of the person they're caring for. They may skip meals, neglect personal hygiene, or postpone medical appointments due to the demands of caregiving.
Increased Physical Complaints: Caregiver burnout can manifest as physical symptoms such as headaches, muscle tension, gastrointestinal problems, pain, or other stress-related ailments. Chronic stress can weaken the immune system and contribute to the onset or exacerbation of physical health issues.
Feelings of Hopelessness or Helplessness: Caregivers experiencing burnout feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of caregiving and hopeless about their ability to cope with the situation. They feel trapped in their caregiving role with no end in sight, leading to feelings of helplessness and despair.
Physically, there are several things I would specifically ask my patients:
Do you have any headaches, body aches, or pains you didn’t have before?
Tell me more about your constant tiredness and loss of energy.
Has your appetite changed? Who is now doing the cooking?
Tell me about your sleep. Are you lying awake at night? Do you get to sleep but then wake up all night long? When was the last time you slept a solid 8 hours?
Have you had any recent infections like a cold, herpes outbreak, shingles outbreak, yeast infections, or urinary tract infections? (All these infections can be caused by a weakened immune system because of stress.)
As burnout progresses and depression and anxiety increase, some caregivers may start using alcohol or other substances, especially stimulants, to try to relieve the symptoms.
Treatment and prevention
The biggest problem with treatment and prevention is that my patients felt they just needed a “good cry” or a pill and that would help. Temporary? yes. But this does not solve the root problem.
I could help my patients by having them choose only one of the following items they thought they could do right now. Just one and they would start there.
Ask others for help: Remember that you don’t have to do everything. It’s OK to ask friends and family to do some of your caretaking tasks. See my 3-day challenge guide to learn how to do this.
Talk to Someone About Your Feelings:: Talking about what you’re going through and getting support from family, friends, or a professional helps you process your feelings and emotions.
Be honest with yourself: Know what you can and can’t do. Do the tasks that you can, and delegate the rest to others. Say no when you think a task will be too stressful or you don’t have time to do it.
Talk with other caregivers: Look for workshops in your area. They are usually at a library or senior community center. See my resources blog soon to come out.
Take regular breaks: Breaks help relieve some of your stress and restore your energy. Use the time to do the things that relax you and improve your mood. Even 10-minute breaks can help.
Attend social activities: Find someone to cover for you and then meet up with your friends.
Take care of your health: Keep your regular doctor appointments, including for preventive care, take your medications, and see your doctor when you feel sick.
Eat a healthy diet: Stay away from fast foods. Eat a healthy diet and less sugar. Stay off the processed foods.
Exercise: Exercising is a great way to relieve stress, increase energy, and take time for yourself. It can also improve depression. This can be done in 10 minutes.
Maintain your sleep schedule: Getting enough rest is important for your well-being and for maintaining your stamina.
Take family leave: If you work, consider using family leave benefits (FMLA) available to you. Removing the stress of work can reduce your responsibilities and free up more time for yourself. FMLA also allows you to take time off without being penalized for it.
Consider respite care: When you need a break, tell or ask your senior for support. Tell them someone will be taking over for you. If they do not agree, then introduce the person as someone who will be helping YOU and then “leave for just a few minutes”. In every case, when my patients did this, the senior started talking to "the friend" and the next thing you know, they were best buds!
You have many choices but as a caregiver, you have to want to make a change.
Many of my patients would find one thing they could do and it always came with a “Yes, but…” We then talked about how their burnout was not going to change if they didn’t.
No one said it’s easy. No one said it’s got to be perfect. We just have to try one new thing. And if you have a good doctor or therapist, let them help you.
