Let's take a quick look at Men's health. Do we carry around this myth that men don't talk about their health?
Maybe they really so!
Look at these Stats!
A survey was issued as part of a new educational campaign, “MENtion It,” which aims to address the fact that men often do not “MENtion” health issues or take steps to prevent them. The survey confirms this: 19 percent of men admitted going to the doctor to stop a loved one from nagging and 40 percent don’t get annual check-ups.
I laughed when I read this last line. How many times have I asked a male patient, “So, Mr. So-and-So, what brings you in today?” Their response? “My wife’s nagging.”
But these numbers spin one side...
If 19 percent of men admit they go to the doctor to stop a loved one from nagging, doesn’t that mean that 81% go because they are responsible men taking care of their health? And if 40% don’t get annual check-ups, doesn’t that mean that 60% do?
So maybe men's week is about getting that 19% and 40% respectively to flip to the other side.
Let's take George, for example...
George sat in his favorite armchair, his brow furrowed with concern as he contemplated the upcoming visit from his family. At 78, he prided himself on his independence and resilience, but lately, his health had been giving him cause for worry. He knew he needed to address his concerns with his loved ones, but the thought of sharing his vulnerabilities filled him with apprehension.
Goal in Mind: George's primary goal was to prepare his family for a potential health issue he had been experiencing. He desired to maintain his independence while ensuring that his family understood his needs and could provide support if necessary.
Challenges and Pain Points: As George pondered the upcoming conversation, he grappled with several challenges and pain points. Firstly, he feared burdening his family with his health concerns, worrying that they might view him as weak or incapable. Additionally, George struggled with a sense of vulnerability, as he was accustomed to being the pillar of strength for his loved ones.
Limiting Beliefs: "I want to talk to my loved ones about my health concerns, but I'm afraid they'll think I'm weak or incapable," George admitted to himself, recognizing the limiting belief that had held him back from initiating the conversation sooner.
Overcoming Objections: Despite his reservations, George resolved to overcome his objections and take proactive steps to address his health concerns with his family. Drawing upon the insights he had gleaned from reflecting on his goals, desires, challenges, and limiting beliefs, George devised a plan to prepare for the upcoming conversation.
Firstly, George acknowledged the importance of open communication and honesty in fostering understanding and support within his family. He recognized that by sharing his health concerns with his loved ones, he could alleviate their worries and enlist their assistance in navigating any challenges that lay ahead.
Next, George identified the specific obstacles he would need to overcome to initiate the conversation effectively. He anticipated objections from his family, ranging from concerns about burdening them with his health worries to fears of disrupting their lives with his needs.
Armed with this self-awareness, George formulated responses to address each objection, emphasizing his commitment to maintaining his independence while also recognizing the value of their support and assistance. He reassured himself that expressing his vulnerability did not diminish his strength but rather demonstrated his resilience and courage in confronting his health concerns head-on.
Approaching his family...
George felt a sense of anticipation mixed with nervousness. He knew that the conversation would be challenging, but he also understood its significance in fostering deeper connections and mutual understanding within his family.
When the moment finally arrived, George took a deep breath and mustered the courage to broach the topic with his loved ones. He began by expressing his gratitude for their presence in his life and their unwavering support over the years.
Then, George shared his health concerns, describing the symptoms he had been experiencing and the uncertainties he faced about the future. He emphasized his desire to maintain his independence while also acknowledging the importance of their involvement in his care and decision-making process.
To his relief, George's family responded with empathy and understanding, reassuring him of their unconditional love and support. They expressed their gratitude for his honesty and bravery in sharing his vulnerabilities, affirming their commitment to stand by him every step of the way.
As the conversation unfolded, George felt a weight lift from his shoulders, replaced by a profound sense of relief and connection. In overcoming his fears and objections, he forged a deeper bond with his family, grounded in mutual trust, respect, and compassion.
Looking back on the experience, George realized that by confronting his limiting beliefs and embracing vulnerability, he had unlocked a newfound sense of strength and resilience. He understood that true courage lay not in concealing one's struggles but in sharing them openly and seeking support from those who cared for him.
With his family by his side, George faced the future with renewed confidence and optimism, knowing that no matter what challenges lay ahead, he would always have a supportive network of loved ones to lean on. As he settled back into his armchair, surrounded by the warmth of family and the comfort of shared understanding, George knew that he had taken a crucial step toward embracing the fullness of life, health, and connection.
George also knew the ground rules:
There were only three:
- He had to come at his loved ones with what he wanted out of the conversation. Was he asking them to listen? Or was he asking them to support him? Or was he asking for advice? George had to decide what each of these looked like and explain these to his loved one’s first.
- George, like most of our patients, can only trust and believe in ONE person. Albeit his doctor, his wife, or his adult child, George can only rely on ONE person’s advice. The others must agree to respect George’s decision and support his decisions.
- Armed with the first two rules, George then had to do his homework. He had to first see his physician. He had to research his diagnosis and treatment plan. This would give him not only the confidence to speak up to his family but also would give his family the confidence that George knew what he was doing.
That’s it. And one more really important one…
if he had more than one loved one he was bringing his health issues to then they would all have to come together and agree to one spokesperson.
This is a common practice in medicine, especially in the hospital setting. There is ONE family member that gets all the information and then disperses it among the rest. George could certainly speak to all of them but only ONE would speak to his doctor, and only ONE would speak to him about the concerns all the others had. This way, there was less friction and fatigue as George made the choices in his own healthcare journey.
